Friday, March 3, 2017
Stubbornly staying
Periodically I see people write blogs explaining why they've decided to leave the Mormon church. These posts uniformly get lots of praise and positive feedback. It has always bothered me quite a bit. In particular because I think that sometimes the real reason they have left the church (notwithstanding all of the reasons in their blog posts) is because they want that praise and dislike the disapprobation of society. Mormonism has gotten steadily less popular in the last 20 years, and that takes a toll on people. I can understand that. What I can't understand is announcing it to the world and being praised for courage, when, in my view, it would have taken more courage to stay.
I've entitled this post "Stubbornly staying" because I want to tell God and society that I am not going to leave Him because I'm afraid of scorn from the wider culture. This blog is a statement of faith. It is also an invitation to Him and to His children for help in doing this blog right.
I am inspired by C. S. Lewis who lived in a time of waxing secularism in his country. The popular and scholarly in his culture were certain that religion was ridiculous. He fought back. He struggled with the hard intellectual, moral, logical and social questions and challenges. And he came back with powerful answers. I don't hope to match his erudition or clarity. But I hope to lay a good foundation for future C. S. Lewises to come.
I am also inspired by Neil Maxwell, who is underappreciated and who seems to be too quickly forgotten.
I also hope to talk about history, archaeology and philosophy on occasion.
In scripture we learn that Lucifer, one of the hosts of heaven, rebelled against God and convinced a third part of the angels to follow him in a battle of ideas and loyalty. He continues the war here for our souls. Bring it on.
What should I talk about first?
The joy and meaning that I get from the church?
Is the Book of Mormon true?
How people unconsciously adopt the assumptions of the wider culture and that drives a wedge between them and the church?
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I look forward with great interest to your thoughts and ideas. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Scott!
DeleteI think this blog is truly a wonderful thing. Thank you for your courage in standing for the unpopular truth. The world needs more of you. Please keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you, L.S.P.
DeleteMaybe you could talk about how all religion is a signifier of the reality of God, but not the signified itself (of course). How it is an attempt to share thoughts and ideas and feelings about God and the goodness of God while at the same time being the product of flawed and imperfect men and women. How there can be hope and beauty in imperfection.
ReplyDeleteCliff, that is a great idea. I will do that. If you ever want to write a guest post, I wouldn't say no.
DeleteIt seems to me that some people are rightly skeptical of religion because they know that there are false messengers. Their conscience will only let them be taught by true messengers from the right source. If they perceive that the messengers aren't true, they will not believe what is being taught. Only if we love one another will people recognize the right way. There was a comment like that in conference. But I also like the way the rock band Evanescence puts it, "Only love will guide you home."
Here is a response to this post by David Katherman that is a valuable perspective that should be taken into account:
ReplyDelete" I'd like to challenge your assumptions about why people leave, and the response people get for their comings out. My own coming out was met with both scorn and acceptance, but I consider myself lucky. There's a common theme I hear among other people who've left. I've seen family members turn on the apostate, spouses and children divorce or become estranged from the apostate, jobs be threatened or lost, and the moral character of the apostate publicly maligned or questioned by people the apostate once called friends and strangers both. Far from uniformly positive responses, the decision to come out is often life changing. Given the nature of the potential responses and the unpredictability of the reactions, I think people could be forgiven for calling it brave to publicly admit their inner feelings (and is it not wrong to laud members for bearing their testimonies publicly, but shame those who leave for publicly sharing their own feelings?)
As someone whose realization that the church was not what it claimed to be was rather personally traumatic, I can say that the act of publicly stating and discussing my issues with others was therapeutic. It helped me to feel that I wasn't alone, and I wasn't crazy, and that's another common theme I see in others with similar experiences: the feeling of being alone when they leave. They're often the only one in their family or circle of friends who feels the way they do and that results in a palpable loneliness or fear of reprisal. They make the hard decision to be true to their convictions anyway despite the risks and I have to say that is brave. Staying and trying to make it work is also brave, ableit for different reasons. Are you really going to argue the degree of bravery? Isn't that a distinction without a difference? Aren't all kinds of bravery to be lauded?
I sincerely doubt that a person would risk so much (their marriages, their jobs, their family relationships) for a few nice comments on a blog post. After that, the positive feedback you see is usually the apostate regaining a sense of belonging and community they had lost in mormonism, and who wouldn't be happy about that? On top of that, I often see people grow happier after leaving the church. I certainly did. Your mileage may vary, but wouldn't you be happy for me and them in any other circumstance? I'm glad you're happy in the church. Does it diminish your happiness that I amd they are happy outside of it? Does it diminish your happiness when a jew is happy in their religion, or when a buddist is happy in theirs?
Leaving the church for me was a difficult, harrowing, but ultimately rewarding experience. It involved deconstructing my entire worldview and picking up the pieces to build a new one. I grieved for it, and that involved the stages of grief. The same is true of a lot of people who leave the church. I think it would be a disservice to reduce the depth of my experience (and theirs) to a shallow, prideful, desire for props."