I wanted to write down some things that I hope you will
remember throughout your lives and that might benefit you and your own children
when you have them. Through mistakes and failures and successes I’ve learned
some things and through some deep thinking I’ve come to certain conclusions
that I want to share with you. Please be patient with me as you consider what I
have to say.
I.
The foundation of our
culture is found in the first few books of the bible. Even the values of
modern non-believers are inherited from Christian civilization, which is taken
from the Jewish bible. The old testament. There we learn that we are made in
the image of God.
This has at least four big consequences.
1. We are each of great individual worth and so we should
never believe the devil or bullies when they tell us that we’re terrible,
worthless, ugly or failures. We aren’t. We have great worth and we will triumph.
2. Other people also have great worth. We must be kind and
respect their status as children of God as well. This is the basis of natural
rights that we find in the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.
3. We have a creator. This means we must have humility and
pride. Humility in that we are not the most important thing in existence, but
pride in knowing that He created us, we are divine (at least in part) and He is
our loving father.
4. This world is made for us. We can use our divine
reasoning skills to discover the logical and rational order in the world.
Science works because we expect law in nature and we expect law in nature
because we believe in a law-giver. So, contrary to what you may hear, science
is based on the expectation that there’s a benevolent God.
I hope that you will watch Dennis Prager’s videos on the ten
commandments to understand further.
There are some things in the old testament that are weird or
not according to our values. But our modern values stem from the good found in
the old testament. I see the old testament as a garden with the best fruit and
some weeds. Ignore the weeds, take the fruit.
II.
The Book of Mormon is
true. I have a testimony that it is true, born to me by the Holy Ghost. I
also have a degree in psychology. I have thought long and hard about whether or
not I could be mistaken about the Holy Ghost or that it is just fantasy or
wishful thinking. I have concluded that it is not. My experiences have
sometimes felt like pure intelligence flowing into me. It’s like I’m a dried up
plant getting water and soaking it up for new life.
It always COULD be an illusion, but only insofar as
EVERYTHING could be an illusion. Maybe this whole life is just a virtual
reality simulation. But to take that too seriously would lead to insanity.
There’s also a lot of evidence for the Book of Mormon. You
can find it if you want. In any case, I hope that after I am gone, you will
read the Book of Mormon at least once every 3 years. I ask you this in the most
serious way I can. If you love me, read the Book of Mormon, whether you believe
it or not.
My testimony also comes from inexplicable feelings of peace.
There have been many times when I’ve gone into the temple, read the Book of
Mormon, prayed, sung a hymn, read the Ensign or listened to a conference talk
when a great peace came and chased away my anxiety.
III.
Prayer. Once I
was praying very long and sincerely about my job. You may know that I’ve never
liked being a lawyer. So I was begging for guidance. It didn’t come. But as I
was praying, I started to think about other people and to pray for them. I
especially thought of my children. “Bless Jeanette,” “Help Alicia” etc. I knew
that the Holy Ghost had come upon me and was directing my mind towards blessing
and loving others. The Holy Ghost will always do that, helping you to repair
relationships and to fix dishonesty or pain that has arisen between you and
others. It comes through sincere prayer.
I’ve found that politics, celebrity culture, social media,
pornography, and other things often drown out the spirit and also make you feel
stressed out and unhappy. Find a quiet place and pray for a long time. As long
as it takes to get that spirit back. It will bring you true peace.
IV.
The world. The
world will chew you up and spit you out. The scriptures warn about both the
devil and the world. The world has its own philosophy and its own sophistry. Be
careful of it. You’ll hear so many ideas, cunningly told, in college, on the
internet, in music. It will use your ego and will flatter you. It will tell you
that you’re the victim to deceive you. It may be telling the truth and it may
be lying, but it’s trying to gain power. People want to gain power by playing
with the emotions of people. You MUST stay close to the spirit and remember who
God is, who you are and who the people around you are. Children of God. Even
the “evil” Republicans, Democrats, atheists, muslims (etc etc) are children of
God.
Remember that the commandments are for your protection and
blessing. They lay the foundation of a prosperous society and pave the path to
God. To the extent they are abandoned, society will decay, your own life will
decay.
A catholic priest named Ronald Knox said, “From the first,
Christians must learn what it means to be unpopular.” Be prepared for
that. Jesus said, “If the world hate
you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the
world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have
chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you… If they have
persecuted me, they will also persecute you.”
But keep in mind that the world’s arguments will be
powerful. It will make good points. For example, if Mormons have treated some
people poorly, then they’ll point that out and it will sap you of confidence,
making you wonder if you really are the “good guys.” But you have to keep in
mind that JESUS is the good guy, not you. Your job, no matter how good or bad
you have been, is to testify of him and his scriptures and his church. It
doesn’t matter if you, or the church, have been hypocrites. Your job is to
testify and be faithful and repent when you go wrong.
V.
Debt. Be careful
about getting into great debt, even for an education. Law school gave me
“golden handcuffs” that forced me to remain a lawyer for longer than I wanted
to. 10 years. I couldn’t afford to escape into a new degree, new training or a
new career. If you want to spend SOME money on education, make sure you are
getting training in a good career along the way. And the cheaper the better,
so, if you don’t like it, it’s not hard to get new training in something else.
VI.
Literature. I
hope, and ask, that you read all of the works of CS Lewis. I don’t agree with
everything he says, but he has written things of great wisdom, insight and
beauty. Similarly, please see the youtube videos of John Lennox, the Christian
mathematician and apologist.
Please also read The
Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom.
VII.
Feminism. Your
mother and I disagree about feminism somewhat. I’m not going to tell you not to
be a feminist, but I would ask you to not let it become a fundamental part of
your worldview. There could be a world where men are more disadvantaged than
women, but you might not be able to see it because you see the world only
through the lens of oppression to your own gender. Look at the data, all the
data, objectively. Consider the writings of Christina Hoff Sommers, (her books
or her interviews, see youtube) and about social justice generally see Thomas
Sowell. I hope you will also watch the
interviews of Dave Rubin who has explored many ideas from the left and the
right and as a gay man and an atheist, has acknowledged a lot of nuance and
goodness from different sides of the political divides in our country.
Also, remember that resentment and feeling like a victim can
make you weaker. You can excuse your own bad behavior or attitude by saying,
“At least I’m not bad like THAT person.” Some people use righteous indignation
to excuse their own faults because they are afraid of owning up to their own
shortcomings.
The key is to have humility and faith in Christ. Christ will
forgive your sins and give you a second chance. Over and over again. But you
have to be honest with Him or it doesn’t work.
IX.
Miracles in my life.
1.
The lamp.
2.
My best friend(s)
3.
French class, FLSR, Tessa.
4.
Dreams.
5.
A book, read it.
6.
Strange answers to prayer.
7.
Peace from the temple.
8.
Blessings.
X.
Keys to a happy life.
Gratitude:
Lots of studies have shown that having a grateful outlook helps you be happy.
“In one particular study, a group of participants was asked
to write down five things that generated gratefulness once a week for ten
weeks. In the other control groups, participants were asked to list five
hassles or major events that occurred that past week. The results illustrated
that those who expressed gratitude tended to feel more satisfied and optimistic
with their lives. Their health received a boost as well; fewer physical
symptoms (such as headaches, acne, coughing or nausea) were reported, and they
spent more time exercising. It’s therefore been noted that gratitude
investigations depict a correlation between mental and physical health.”
It is
also my opinion that God generally gives you blessings in proportion to your
appreciation of them. So, tell God thank you!
Dealing
with anxiety. C S Lewis says that when we worry too much about the future, we
bear today’s burdens and tomorrow’s burdens at the same time. And since there
might be lots of bad things in the future, we might bear lots of burdens today
that will never actually happen. So the buddhist people focus on staying in the
present and not dwelling on the past or the future. That doesn’t mean don’t
plan for the future or learn from the past. Just do it on purpose and then stop
doing it when you need to be in the present.
Methods:
mindfulness meditation, increasing faith in God, self-talk, long prayers,
listening to music.
Also
remember what the bible teaches. In Phillipians Chapter 4
“6 Don’t be anxious about
anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and
petitions, along with giving thanks. 7 Then
the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds
safe in Christ Jesus…. 12 I know the experience of being in
need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content
in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty
or being poor. 13 I can endure all
these things through the power of the one who gives me strength.”
Remember
that social media, advertisements and the news will all take a toll on your
self-esteem. They’re designed to make you feel dissatisfied so that you’ll buy
their product or vote for their candidate. Studies show this. Limit those
things.
Remember
positive self talk. Tell yourself encouraging things. Great athletes do this. Tell
the devil to go away when he tells you that you’re worthless, stupid, ugly,
unloveable, unforgiveable. He’s wrong. You are a child of God. You have a
divine nature and destiny. Just keep taking one step after another and you’ll
make it, in faith.
XI.
What tolerance means. Joseph Smith made a big point of letting
people live how they choose and to not persecute people for their personal
choices or attributes. He was particularly talking about religious liberty, but
the principle applies to many aspects of life. He said, “Mormons can testify
whether I am willing to lay down my life for a Mormon; If it has been
demonstrated that I have been willing to die for a Mormon I am bold to declare
before heaven that I am just as ready to die for a Presbyterian, a baptist or
any other denomination.” He would probably say that about gay couples,
transgender people, blacks, drug addicts, Democrats, Republicans, muslims etc.
But he was also not shy about
calling to repentance. Sometimes he was tactful and sometimes he wasn’t.
We should do it with tact. And is
often best done through setting an example. When you’re defending the church,
the best way to do it is by being winsome. Being winsome is like being positive
and cheerful. If you are defending the church, it works best (usually) to be
positive and say, “What I like about my church is … (you could say something
about its focus on families, or how we help each other in the community, or how
you feel close to God when you go to the temple, etc etc).”
Equality is ultimately based on
Christian principles. As I said before, we are all made in the image of God, whether
tall or short, beautiful or ugly, dumb or smart etc. In equality you have the
difficult task of balancing justice and mercy. Most people err in giving too
much weight to one or the other.
I think that modern universities
are corrupt. They use our money to teach us bad values, atheism, and a false
gospel they dress up in words like diversity, equality, oppression, etc. Those
words take on new meaning though and stir you up into anger. I’m a lawyer, I
know what that’s about. When you’re angry, flattered or forced into another
strong emotion, you are easier to manipulate. Keep your head about you,
remember your core principles, connect with the Holy Ghost, and you won’t be
deceived.
But, don’t throw out the baby with
the bathwater. There has been oppression. Inequality is real. I have had to
learn more tolerance and understanding for people unlike me. To understand the
way people have struggled in ways I haven’t had to.
If someone reveals a sin or
something about themselves that they are ashamed of, then your first reaction
is one of love. If they are in a weak place, then you should be gentle with
your advice. Perhaps any advice you give is just to pray and don’t give up.
In your mind, you must not forget
that mercy does not rob justice. But it can, and should, slow it down in
tactful ways. But NEVER tell someone that a sin is okay, when it isn’t okay.
The fact is that God loves us despite our sin not because our sin is “no big
deal.”
XII.
Finishing
what you start. Many times in my life I’ve started something only to quit
later. It’s been a source of frustration and it has lowered my self-esteem. So,
I started to make an effort to finish whatever I start. To not begin some
project until I was committed to seeing it to conclusion. When you start a
project, think about what you are committed to do. It’s okay to try something
out for a while before you commit. But if you are going to commit, then give
yourself some kind of a goal or deadline or accomplishment that you intend to
achieve before you stop. Then keep doing it. It doesn’t matter if it goes
slowly, or you make mistakes. Just keep plugging away, every day or every week
or every month. You’ll make progress and eventually someone will say, “You’re
so lucky for being good at that” when you know it wasn’t luck; it was
diligence.
